Thanks for visiting our blog, where we documented the run up to our gay wedding on August 17th 2012.
If you’d like to read from the beginning, the first posts start here.
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Chris’ mini blog – Thursday
I received these wise words this morning from my pal Lorraine:
“Remember, you’re not throwing a party – this is your wedding (the only one you’ll have), so keep in mind that we’ll all have a great time anyway just being there to celebrate with you, and all you need to do is relax and enjoy the moment. Simple!”
That is definitely what I needed to hear. Tomorrow isn’t about making sure everyone has a nice time (that will almost certainly happen anyway) It’s about being present in the moment and not thinking about the next thing, and trusting the team will get it all done.
I’m really rather looking forward to it.
In other news, Jimmy has arrived and is just exploring the neighbourhood with Donny, and Debby should be knocking on my door any minute. Fabulous!
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Donny’s mini-blog update: Wednesday
So after a much-needed lie-in, today was just check-list after check-list of things to finish. I set up an old iPhone which will be used for playing back our wedding disco music at the pub and finalised speeches while Chris attended to some much needed cleaning in the flat and also set up the bag of thank-you cards and other goodies that we will need to bring on the day.
I finally got my haircut as well, so all I have left to do is to finish my vows and to clean our fishtank (which is currently experiencing an algal bloom). It was nice to have a day off of work, and definitely needed since night-time was the only other time I had available to do any wedding things.
After some shopping, we stopped off at the pub to double check a couple of details with the bar manager Darren, and to meet with 4 of our helpers for the day, whose job it will be to queue some music and to also usher people around. Everything seems to be running smoothly so far. Hmm…perhaps complacency is a dangerous place to be but so far, so good.
I did wake up with yet another anxiety dream (this time, I was in an epic Bourne Ultimatum-like movie where I was being hunted). So it will be interesting to see what may come tomorrow morning. But one thing for sure–there will be no opportunity for a lie-in tomorrow morning. My brother’s flight gets into Heathrow at 7AM and if all goes smoothly, he’ll be knocking at our door at 9:30AM or earlier. And so it all begins…
So my tactic for dealing with the stress of the upcoming nuptials is to try to have as normal of a routine as possible. This means going to the office for a couple of days of work. This way my head stays clear during the day.
However, the problem arises when I get home because this is when I can start doing the bulk of what is on my task list for the wedding…and that can be overwhelming when there are last minute work deadlines to deal with, client calls, and then in the limited hours before sleep, trying to cram in some work for the wedding.
Anyways, as I sit right now in my office done with the few things that were on my to-do list for Tuesday (3 client conference calls, interviewing a job candidate, an editorial deadline for a review article, and a deadline for a research survey), I can finally take a deep breath. And that is when a mix of joy and panic sets in. I’m taking the days on either side of the wedding off, so this is my last day in the office without a ring on my finger. In fact, THIS IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE WITHOUT A RING ON MY FINGER!!! OMG, I’M GETTING MARRIED. IN THREE DAYS! And then the extra panic starts to set in–the “festivities” actually start on Thursday when the out-of-town guests start arriving in the morning. And THIS IS IN JUST TWO DAYS!!
And suddenly, everything that I had been procrastinating on because of work (haircut, ironing, food shopping, cleaning the fishtank, doing the windows, sweeping the patio, making a wedding disco playlist, WRITING VOWS, etc.) needs to get done in THE ONE DAY WE HAVE LEFT before the out-of-town family arrive en masse at the flat. ARRGH!
In between obsessively looking at the weather forecast (in not one or two, but on three different sources), I have found some moments of peace by taking time out to obsessively troll Gumtree ads for cute puppies for sale. These darlings below are two of our favorites so far.
So advice or anyone planning a wedding: Every time you get too stressed out from all the wedding work, just take a puppy break.
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Back to the beginning
OK, time for a deep breath. Things have been moving along amazingly quickly…and surprisingly easily so far. Through the power of Microsoft Excel, our guest list has been finalized, menu options have been sorted and communicated to the restaurant, and quiz responses analyzed. (Yes, we know who said and thought what! But don’t worry, we won’t name names.)
Venue one (town hall) is more or less sorted, although we still have to write our vows to each other. Venue two (drinks reception) is more or less sorted as well–the key was to find a single point person to communicate with who also had the power to make some decisions and suggestions, and in this case it was figuring out who the bar manager was. I went in and introduced myself and asked for a tasting and we finally settled on drinks options that are fun, but which won’t break the bank. And most importantly, will be less hassle for me and Chris. Venue three (restaurant) has been amazingly well organized, and after dinner there we also had a wine tasting and have decided on some yummy choices (including a grape I have never heard of). And venue four (pub) has finally come together as well now that we have reconnected with a couple of people who seem to have a vested interest in making sure the pub runs smoothly. And our entertainment for the evening is coming along nicely as well.
I think also a lot of credit needs to go to the fact that Chris and I work so well as a team to get ideas generated, sorted, organized, prioritized, and then realized. Together, we do complement each other in all the right ways–from the fantastical/brainstorming stages to the practical stages. And that’s why I think the process so far has not been as stressful as what everyone has been telling us it is supposed to be like.
A good example of this is our seating plans. Everyone was telling us that this is typically the most arduous part of the wedding planning process and one that is the source of the most arguments. With the help of a suggestion from our friend Melissa (to use paper plates and post-its) we were done in about 30 minutes. And we didn’t even need to split any couples up! (P.S. I chose a small image on purpose, so no cheating to figure out who will be sitting next to whom!)
So considering that so far (fingers crossed!) things are running smoothly, it’s a good time to reflect on the process so far, which started way back in November of last year, when after a long time of already knowing that Chris was a perfect partner for me, I finally got off my a$%e and did something about it by proposing. In fact, I even won some free Thai food kits with our story, which you can read by clicking the link. (Although I was hoping for a trip to Thailand…still, free food is always good food!). Anyways, here’s to many more sunrises with Chris!
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Pre-Wedding Photographs
Last weekend, Donny and I went to Clissold Park with our lovely friends Sally and Pat. While we were, Pat (who is going to be our photographer on the big day) took some fab photos of us – some of which you can see below. (There are loads more, but I’ll just post some of the best)
You can see more of Pat’s work at www.morethanpictures.co.uk.
